5. Goodbye my clarinet

Sitting on the bus I kinda just noticed my damn clarinet left my lip all cut again. Which JUST healed. All because it started muting itself so I had to push harder to get a sound out plus I had to drown out the other clarinets who’s airy slobbery notes conflict with my own. But its over. Dunno what to do with my clarinet now. I want to find the Harry Potter music book I lost in 7th grade. I want a pretty song off of there. I have the CD. But I’d rather not learn by ear. After today next week were done. Can’t blame me for being a little conflicted about that too. If this next week can go my way.just that next week, I shall be forever content. Well as long as possible?  Its gonna be. Long time. I should really charge my iPod. I hope I brought my laptop. Another day of silence.  I don’t feel comfortable with that…considering. the sound of lady GaGa pisses me off…x.x ahh. Looking out at the desert. Getting off the bus…sitting on a bench. Watching Michelle drink water.  Ending post.

6. Emptyness

Happy Birthday to Becky. Being all old and stuff.

1. I don’t like the consistency of bananas. They feel squishy and stick. I don’t like them. But I like the flavor.

I’ve developed a sort of health kick. I’m not going too crazy with it but I keep wanting to be healthy.

I don’t want to stay after school. There is an awkward silence behind the day. I can’t believe tomorrow is out last day of the week before the last week of our high school career. HOLY FUCK.

I have a sort of peaceful mindset right now. Monday should bring the same. And I’ll be content. I can’t wait until there is no longer a concert for me to play. my lip hurts enough. it just healed the cut that it had.

bai

7. “Torture <- how sadistic"

I have tendencies to just pick random things to name my posts. this came from Jason’s

 

Perhaps it would be worth letting them know that you plan to stick around for some time.

Avoid taking care of others in place of yourself. If you live according to this maxim, you will ultimately be a better friend, as you will be available and strong in times of crisis and need.

 

that came from my horoscopes . hm.. well.. i dunno. this week is almost over. I don’t want to remember what I wanted to post. so screw it.

8. One more chance

Once again bored just sitting in .. on my bus. Waiting to get to school. Just kinda listening around. That’s kinda involuntary eavesdropping.  Does that make my ears whores?  I like how now whore is saved into my phone. It NEVER has been. There’s a lot of trailing traffic today. The lines to make a turn are unusually long. Im sticking to going to school and not giving anymore of a fuck. I can’t see my screen anymore so let’s see how that goes. I did pretty good.   Remember when I used to be a texting pro and I’d have sooo many texts per months. It was emptying my messages 3 times a day with 300 . Sounds better that saying 900. Yes no lifr. Darn were at school.  Brb. Not that it matters.

And now im here. In the library.

And now im in orchestra. With Michelle and of course suki isn’t here.

I kinda am mentally flipping out over this last week. Oh well. Im hungry and out of posting ideas.. Ima try with my video ideas again.

As Promised.

Fine way to start today. I wouldn’t call it drama so much as entertainment. A senior engaging in drama with a freshmen is beyond not being worth it. Been there, done that. However, a senior who is finding something to do and finding humor at the expense of another is more like it. Pity I’m 18. Idk what shit sarcastically answering a question I didn’t answer was. Im still confused about that. I giggle inside. SEP. went eh . I messed up  more than I had wanted to. Got a less grade than i had hoped. but oh well. Prom I think I covered. Could have gone better than it was. it was good, very good. But It missed something.

 

My heart is thundering. 1 week. 4 days. I dunno.crazy shit. NOW OR NEVER GO GO GO GO GO GO. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

bittersweet. So much to do, so little time. I wonder what would happen if I…………..

 

I dunno. WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME. I keep listening to Josh. He’s the only one who’s said something different to me. The josh that only me any Jason know. Not B. Or not V. But he’s now supporting something different and giving me a different reason for things. I dunno.

 

omg horoscope. THAT is what I needed to hear. Now don’t fuck up. and just c uz of that. i’m waiting until fourth to make this post. I guess typing it out wasn’t too bright either x.x FUCK SHIT.

 

P.S. thank you for having confidence in me. All of you -.-

tomorrow.

cuz ill have nothing to do

Never left my mind.

Prom was fun. I danced. Badly but I did. My shoes bruised my toes which is funny. I got an 85 on my SEP .way worse than I hoped. But I passed and I accept it. I will survive. I dunno what’s been going on in my head. I have a lot I want to say. But Im going to keep trying to put it off. Im too lazy right now. I’ll see. I miss posting actualy .I made a short post yesterday in the middle of prom. Like I have to. but.. I blank. oh well.

 

One person short of the perfect night. :[ and it wasn’t meant in a bad way.

Dear people

Tell you later :]

Let’s Try to Keep this Post

Considering that I am constantly losing all of my posts that I spend 3 minutes of my life on.  I’m probably one of the few people I know that isn’t completely freaking out over the SEP presentation. I’m not gonna lie. I’ve felt a little uneasy.. But I just want to do it already. What’s the point of complaining, which I’m obviously going to still do. but what’s the point. you’re not going to be able to get around it. So bleh … fuck that.. Stupid struggle for writing that. writing bleb instead of bleh. stupid nosey ass people putting their face to my computer. like wtf.

I’ve been really into youtube lately. I’m not quote sure as to why but yeah. I really want to make my own channel well… I have two. But I want to make a new one specifically for making my own videos. Idk what to video about. I still want to. Well see. But there happens to be way too much to do. I don’t want to have to deal with it all. But bleb. What I really want is to sleep because I haven’t been able to sleep that much lately. Something that saddens me constantly is the fact that feeling of worry.  You know where you have something good… Or at least positive standing in front of you, and yet you don’t every try to acknowledge it?

Happens a lot. Watching Ghost Protocal again. I’m kind of sad.  Wish I had much importance.

When I was still in middle school I kinda looked forward to being in high school. I always just wanted to have that kind of high school experience. I didn’t want to have the style I did then. I wanted to have my best guy friends. Because there all of my friends at the time were guys. ALL of them. Except 1. I wanted to have my friend I wanted to be girl enough or something enough for some guy to actually like me. I wanted to  be pretty involved with school activities. have good grades. Lol reality sucks.

 

Oh yeah . the car accident. Well we were going to go because apparently when I first mentioned graduation announcements to my parents they said no but they didn’t want them. Now my mother wants them so we went to get some stuff  so we could make them. Well my dad forgot something on kolb and valencia so he kinda twisted away last minute to make a u turn. Then right in front of us a red mustang tries to make a turn but a trail blazer kinda hit almost head on and took out the whole front of the car. That was pretty freaky. The dude’s arms were instant bruised.. x.x i saw how the air bag smacked him in the face. he showed my parents the bruises and I thought that they were like black tattoos.. like holy shit. That and he was really sad that he had just gotten back from fixing his car after purchasing a new radiator. …that was exciting. Can’t explain something else about that.

so naturally after that another car speeds into traffic and screeches to a halt. and then another idiot makes a sudden stop in front of us. x.x odd day.

I’m afraid to ask questions or anything. I want everything to poof. But oh well.. I forgot what i was going to say. Oops.

 

any youtube ideas still? tell me?

what the butt

my post poofed. Oh well. I witnessed a car accident. Coulda been us. wasn’t. Im too tired to explain.

 

<3 night.